Yep, I was crowned with that wonderful name this morning by my father when I went downstairs. HOWFUCKINGDISGUSTING. I feel soooooo gross and terrible. All I can think about is that feeling I got yesterday when I stepped on that scale. I was so scared from all the straying I had done that I was going to be well into the 120s. And then Phillip said that I was 118. I was given a second chance to redeem myself. And I threw it away for an assortment of cookies, candy, and a hot dog. I have yet to get on that scale again.
But one of the girls on one of the blogs I'm following posted a girls successful ABC diet. It was so inspirational. She went from 150 to 91lbs! I would say she was a lucky girl, but I know better than that. She isn't lucky; She was motivated and deserved every pound she lost if not more. If She can do it why can't I? The only difference is the mind set, not physical boundaries.
Oh, and I've decided to give up drinking and smoking unless it's in a social environment. That way I'll be too embarrassed to eat in front of anyone. I don't have the control over myself yet. I'm sure once my bones are protruding a little better I can use them as the wall between eating and not eating.
I must be terribly annoying with all the empty words that I have. I'm trying. I'm sorry. I just need to get back into the groove of things. I really kind of just need a buddy too. They always help so much.
No comments:
Post a Comment