Alright so I have some blogging to do to catch up on for the last couple of days. After this entry I think I'll separate the daily caloric intake statistical and my actual life into different entries. Otherwise, I'll be all over the place. The end of SGD day 1 was somewhat of a failure. I went over by 50 calories by the end of the work day. BUT of fucking course that guy I was supposed to hang out with hassled me into getting dessert. I tried using the whole "I already ate so im not very hungry" excuse. So somehow he turned that into "I'm not very hungry for food that I can somewhat budget my calories very well through salads, but I'd absolutely LOVE some fattening, irresistable cheesecake!" The good news is I managed to get some coffee and only eat about a third of a slice. Sure, that still probably a billion calories in itself, but I think I still managed fairly well. I'm trying not to purge on this diet because I know that will be the beginning of the end for me. Plus, I feel like its so damn bad for my body. And it makes me feel like a pathetic failure, like its cheating. Probably because it is.
As for the date aspect of the night, it went great. Almost better than great. We click very well. Which surprises me because I haven't clicked this well with a guy in a looong time. So long I can't completely validate that I have in fact clicked with someone this well. He is suuuper fit though. Which makes me feel like a complete fat ass. I'm glad he is that way because now I'm even more dedicated and determined to this SGD. Bathing suit season is pretty much here so I need to get a move on it.
SGD DAY 2:
Started off very well. All I had was grapefruit and celery. And then my sister surprised me at work with some alcohol. I couldn't resist. I was so close to throwing it away after she left because it was filled with nasty liquid syrupy calories, but I'm weak when it comes to a good buzz. So I drank it. I'll learn from that mistake. It mad me unbearably tired and hungry, black hole status. I came home to stuffed pork chops and asparagus. I managed okay, probably ate around 300 calories worth, which was my limit for the day. Then later on while watching a movie I got into some cheerios and probably had around 200 calories worth of that. Then chicken noodle soup, 150 calories. Then reeses peices, 150 calories. And pepsi, 150 calories. I know, how worthless. I was doing so good why did i have to give it up. I debated on purging it but i decided against it. The pepsi is what really gets me just because its not even that good nor hard to resist.Usually I would feel a lot worse about everything, but I'm feeling in a determined kind of mood. I guess being able to vent is helping a lot. Even if no one is reading.
Day 3, here I come.
<3 becks
I had a hard day at the beginning of the week too and I got so mad at myself, but staying determined really helped, now a couple days later I am back to where I should be, maybe even smaller.
ReplyDeleteYou've got this :)
yeahh. I've got to keep reminding myself to stay positive. Otherwise I end up saying fuck it and binge like crazzzy for dayss. Thank you for the support!
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