Alright, I've had it.

Dude, I am so sick of the cycle I've been stuck in lately. Pretty much a b/p. Oh, except for the fact that I've been purging so much that I no longer could. And that's where I SHOULD be saying that I went back to starving like a good little girl, but doing so would be lying. Truth? I've been eating pretty much everything and anything in site without purging. Haven't gotten on the scale; I'm pretty damn sure it'll be over 120 which is the most I've weighed since the beginning of this shit (this recent cycle at least). And you know what the cause of it all is? Pot. Company. I have no will power with these things. With company (not like friends, more like family), I lose my concentration, my will power. As for the pot thing, munchies pretty much explains that. The weird thing about pot though is it is one of the most powerful weapons I have against my ED anxieties. It's almost like I don't even care. I want to quit again, but I'm addicted. I know, I know that sounds ridiculous BUT pot, in my opinion, can be very physiologically addicting especially to someone with an addictive personality, like moi. I just wish people would leave me in peace so I could starve properly, shiattt :D
But enough about the ranting and shit, it's time to get down and lose the weight. I've done it before, I can do it again! Hm, well I'm going to start by allowing myself no more than 700 calories a day which is kinda a lot, but when I cut it down anymore than that I'm not strong enough (physically) to get through the work day and such. I will also run 2 miles in the morning and go on a walk during the night. What else... Oh, toning. Right. I'll do my toning exercises on Sundays, Wednesdays, and Fridays which will include an assortment of ab, arm, butt, and leg exercises.

I would weigh myself now, but I know it's bad already and I'd hate to further depress myself. I would like to apologize to everyone for my absence. I assure you all that I have been on and reading. Just to ashamed to post myself. Anywho, wish me luck you skinny little bitchessss :P

P.S. I WOULD LOVE A BUDDY IF ANYONE IS INTERESTED